Success is a Habit

There’s been much interest in developing productive habits and having a set of principles for success in life during the past few years. Jordan Peterson and James Clear have written extensively on these issues. Their books have been widely read, especially among younger males. Our institutions have failed in this regard. Schools, for example, do not reinforce our cultural values and lack emphasis on character building for our youth. Or possibly because the old established institutions are not relevant to the younger generation. Regardless, it seems that many are adrift.

We learned our guiding principles from our parents, primary school, and church. I remember my mother telling me to stand straight with my shoulders back. She drilled into me that slouching does not make a good impression. We also learned about maintaining good habits by playing with others—things like sharing, respect, and fairness. We learned about the Ten Commandments, not all of which are particularly religious. They speak about honesty, respect for our elders (authority), avoiding envy, and lying. Stealing and murder were prohibited as well. Many of us participated in team sports, like Little League baseball. We learned sportsmanship, working together as a team, supporting one another, being on time, and honoring our commitments. We learned proper etiquette and table manners from our parents, and some were enrolled in formal classes to learn those rules. We learned how to behave in conformance with the norms of a healthy society.

Today, we can see the difference between successful folks and those who struggle. It is evident in their approach to life and the habits they embrace, wittingly or not. Much of my work is about helping people identify and correct bad habits. I help my clients develop productive routines and fix issues not being addressed. Usually, I help create systems and processes to improve performance.

Success is a habit, or more to the point, a collection of practices.

    • Be on time.
    • Be Proactive
    • Be Prepared-analytical
    • Take good notes
    • Follow up
    • Be organized
    • Honor you commitments
    • Be Ethical: honesty and integrity
    • Follow the rules of Reciprocity
    • Build relationships slowly
    • Attract like-minded people
    • Maintain your physical health

From my experience, successful people share a collection of attributes. I have observed that they are focused on what they want and have the discipline to realize their goals. Furthermore, they attract and surround themselves with like-minded people. You may have heard that you are the average of your friends and associates. I believe this to be true. Stated another way, successful people are forward-thinking and develop systems to achieve their goals. Share on X Without a system, goals are just wishful thinking and daydreams. Another way to think of a system is a collection of habits. Let’s consider practices successful people share.

At the forefront, successful people are trustworthy. They are honest and ethical people who honor their commitments. The importance of trust should not be a surprise to anyone. Would you willingly associate with someone you did not trust? Of course not. If you are trustworthy and dependable, you will attract ethical associates. Ethical behavior is the foundation for success.

Successful people exude confidence. They have a positive, can-do attitude that people will naturally follow. I am reminded of the saying, “if you can conceive it and believe it, you will achieve it.” They are high-energy people who energize and motivate others. Compare these attributes to low-energy complainers who drain you of your energy. Avoid these people!

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is another critical attribute for success. A healthy body is required to generate the energy and drive needed to achieve one’s goals. It is challenging to develop confidence if you are not physically fit or do not feel well. A proper diet and exercise are part of their daily routine. They get the appropriate amount of sleep to be alert and focused during working hours. They see their doctor annually to check their vital statistics and catch potential ailments early.

To summarize, successful people are in control of their lives. They determine how they want to live and create that environment. Their lives are not perfect as they suffer unpleasant circumstances like everyone else. However, they experience fewer adverse events and cope with them better because of the systems they have created. Their grand system is a set of beliefs, attributes, and behaviors (read habits) they employ to create their lifestyle. For those of you looking for success or that want to mentor others, I suggest that you further explore the points made in this article.

Thank you for visiting our blog.

 

Jim Weber, Managing Partner – ITB Partners

Jim Weber – Managing Partner,  ITB Partners

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Diversity

You’ll never find a better sparring partner than adversity.” Golda Meir

Stephen Dawson, DSL

I was beaten on as a kid more than once. I was small in stature and not as smart as most kids. The worst of the beatings was the verbal abuse. It took me longer to put on substantial muscles when serving in the infantry, but I caught up and surpassed many in my unit. Later, it took me longer to get through my undergraduate degree from not having a solid academic starting point. I look back and remember those who helped me advance amid abuse. It was, always, someone who was of different skin color than I, or who came from another birthplace, or who had more strength of servant character than I do today. Adversity became livable for me. I owe each of them a debt I will never be able to repay.

I heard these words from them many times: “You need to prepare.” Often, I would get a call later from many of them asking me how things went as an outcome of my preparation efforts. Many of these wonderful people were at or below the economic poverty level, but they were wealthy beyond measure in building relationships.

I shared recently we only see if we look, and we only look by choice. I shared last week learning can continue on any topic. I see people, not combinations of demographics or psychographics. There is no…them…in my book. I made the point in past columns that a people problem is not a skills problem. People need to be nameless and faceless to be related to effectively. I hold this position for one simple reason: I was nameless and faceless for years, but people related to me in many healthy ways. No one can thrive without a name, a place, and a purpose. Resolving the people problem effectively consists of more than you looking for your desired destination using your planned strategy. It all comes together by way of the people you need to fulfill the strategy you need to be planned. So, let’s talk about some of the options you have to address your people problem.

People or colored objects?

If people are a part of your organization, then you must care for them as a whole person. If this is something you cannot do, then you would do well to either separate them from your organization or stop leading your organization. There is no one-size-fits-all for this decision point. Take the actions to communicate the separation milestone, deliver any severance, handle public relations, handle any litigation, say goodbye, and move on. This recommendation goes for both the person you are separating from your organization and yourself whenever you stop leading.

Let me be clear. I endorse, without hesitation, putting a person into a role by their skills in combination with the espoused morality of their worldview found in their ethics. There is little value in doing anything to meet the demands of anyone who has no interest in you. Yes, there are times when codified mandates exist contrary to your position. However, you are still faced with a whole person to either have or not have as a part of your organization. Let’s dig deeper into the reality of having the whole person in your organization.

MICROPROCESSORS

There is somewhat of a new obstacle in current events claiming there is a recent shortage of microprocessors. Imagine trying to run your organization without all of the resources that use microprocessors. Ford had to cut production of their F-150 recently due to semiconductor chip shortages. The F-150 is noted for sales achievements. Bindiya Vakil and Tom Linton described this situation from the global perspective. Let’s use this microprocessor topic to help address the people change problem you have in getting your strategy planned.

DIVERSITY

Please, stop and read the definitions for diverse and diversity before reading further. Then, take a read through diversity in the context of business. I urge you to step through the historical overview of equal employment opportunity and affirmative action.

No alt text provided for this image

David Daniels, a noted diversity and inclusion (D & I) professional I work with during management consulting efforts, told me his initial approach to the people part of our collective work. “There are so many different definitions out there when it comes to D & I, and I always work with each individual organization to frame it around their vision, mission, and values.” He shared with me some of his wisdom. “The analogy that has always stuck with me to succinctly describe D & I is this: Diversity = you were invited to the dance; Inclusion means you were asked to dance all night.” His analogy makes quite a bit of sense to me. I encourage you to read David’s Reflections article to understand more of his insight.

If fame is a skill, then you are staffing a role based on a fleeting skill. How long will such fame last? This question must be answered to assign meaningful present value and calculate the probable future value of the work delivered from this skill. Fame has a bit of energy to it, but it is similar to eating sugar. Sugar is fleeting energy, not lasting energy. If you need quick energy added to your organization, then fame is a way to get it. However, fame pushes those who are not famous aside and disables some of their ability to deliver productive work output to you. Now, let’s use the communicating-preparing-pursue plan I experienced as a child to see how it can help you with your identified people problem.

COMMUNICATING

Building the understanding of what another person has going on in their head to know how they can contribute best to your organization is a constant action. These conditions change from what Chesterton shared, so they must be measured frequently. It is the intersection of demographics and psychographics for each person combined with knowing where they fit into your organization based on how the other folks in your organization are doing at the time. It is going from nameless and faceless to a name with an identity to form a purpose, to determine their place in your organization. This purpose and place combination is not static. It is likely to change, knowing people have good and bad times, as do organizations comprised of the people you serve as their leader. The needs and wants combination for everyone will change accordingly. Communicating with your people is the only way to know these answers first hand.

PREPARING

It is unlikely you will be able to resolve the identified people problem with a single decision criterion. I make this statement as people are much more complicated than either a machine or a microprocessor, though both have features and benefits. Preparing has both an exact checklist of actions for the work at hand combined with actions specific to each person. We measure by outcomes, so the preparation matching the outcomes is only varied by the preparation’s execution actions. I am talking much more than Monday Morning Quarterbacking. I am talking about measuring outcomes without bias.

PURSUE

The follow-through of planning and doing is then pursuing understanding the outcome of the doing. The phone calls I would receive from loved ones looking out for my best interests had a combination of encouragement, recommendations, and a bit of tough love correction. You as the leader must, I repeat…must…use a similar formula in fixing your people problem. Why must you do this? Because you have a whole person in your organization for now. You are trying to decide if you need to move them to other work assignments in your organization or say goodbye to them as their leader.

WIND UP

Okay, getting back to the microprocessor illustration I spoke of earlier in this writing. Think about small devices as you consider how you select people to be a part of your organization. Think about the diversities combined in the technologies to make a device you use as you think about how you value the diversity of people to do the work you need and want to be accomplished. Then, take some time to watch the following short film.

I saw the film Most about a dozen years ago. It gripped me with the reality I was not viewing people then as I do today. I was limiting my view of people to those who I knew personally. Your selection of people to be a part of your organization most likely will mean you do not know every one of them as well as you do your close friends. Take the time this next week and watch this short film without interruption. It is 32-minutes long. I recommend you prepare your schedule to watch it uninterrupted. I hope it will help you measure your willingness today to see people as a whole, especially the part about them being nameless and faceless, to decide what you need to change about your people seeing willingness going forward. We will talk about how your viewing experience of this short film went for you during our time together next week. I anticipate you will be both shocked and irritated at the realities you experience from this film. I was when I watched it. I remember to this day how I felt at the end of the film: ashamed to find my unknown willingness not to see a whole person, but enabled to change for the better.

Link to Short Film

So, I ask you: where do you want to go? I hope your answer is to develop the plans necessary to accomplish the strategy you know you need to achieve to arrive at your desired destination. If this is the case, then let’s get to work. If not, then I wish you the best of everything.

I hope we will see each other here next week. Email me if you need to talk before then.

Dr. Stephen H. Dawson, DSL

Executive Strategy Consultant

Dr. Stephen H Dawson

Stephen Dawson is an executive consultant of technology and business strategy, serving significant international organizations by providing leadership consulting, strategic planning, and executive communications. He has more than thirty years of service and consulting experience in delivering successful international business development and program management outcomes in the US and SE Asia. His weekly column, “Where Do You Want To Go?,” appears on Thursdays.

Dr. Dawson has served in the technology, banking, and hospitality industries. He is a noted strategic planning visionary. His pursuit of music has been matched with his efforts to lead by service to followers. He holds the clear understanding a leader without followers is a person taking a long walk alone.

Stephen has lived his life in the eastern United States, visiting most of the United States and several countries. He is a graduate of the Regent University School of Business & Leadership. Contact him at service@shdawson.com.

Thank you for visiting our Blog!

 

Jim Weber, Managing Partner – ITB Partners

Jim Weber – Managing Partner,  ITB Partners

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

 

Identify Toxic Entanglements: Adapt or Disengage

‘Show me a good crisis manager, and I will show you someone who creates a crisis to manage.’

Warning – Toxic Person

It’s Saturday morning. I just received a text message from my friend Faith. She forwarded a message from a colleague she calls ‘Hair-on-fire.’  The text she received was sent at 4:45 PM yesterday, Friday, surfacing another crisis.  ‘Hair-on-fire’ strikes again! Fortunately, Faith was engaged in another activity, so she didn’t see the text and wasn’t drawn into a last-minute waste of time.  As I mentioned in my post last week, this colleague has a habit of creating a commotion late on a Friday afternoon.  Just imagine, it‘s the end of the workweek and you’re ready to ease into the weekend.  You may have plans for the evening, anticipating some well-deserved fun and relaxation.  As you’re making the transition to ‘personal time,’ you’re assaulted with an urgent issue that requires you to revert to ‘working mode.’  Instant psychological whiplash.  I call foul!  This behavior strikes me as manipulative and narcissistic.  It appears that “Hair-on-fire” uses this tactic as a control mechanism to manage her matrix team.  From my experience, she probably believes that being a good crisis manager will result in recognition by senior management.  Early in my career, I learned something about crisis management. My most important takeaway was: ‘Show me a good crisis manager, and I will show you someone who creates a crisis to manage.’  This topic is of great interest to me.

A thesaurus search of “toxic” reveals synonyms related to poison, something to be avoided.  As with any poison, exposure to toxic people should be minimized whenever possible. How do you know you are dealing with a toxic person and how does one cope? Exploring this matter further will help us become more productive and effective. It will help you create a healthy workplace.  The starting point is to identify toxic people by their behavior.

ATTRIBUTES OF A TOXIC PERSONALITY

  1. Takes no responsibility for their actions – puts the blame on others
  2. Manipulative
  3. Never apologize
  4. Judgmental – highly critical, will negate your self-esteem
  5. Make you defensive
  6. Will not support you
  7. Inconsistent
  8. Narcissistic – Must be the center of attention
  9. Do not listen
  10. Negative outlook – never a positive word, project their emotions on you
  11. Never admit defeat – never wrong
  12. Will not go out of their way for you
  13. Present a victim’s mentality – emotional blackmail
  14. Always have ulterior motives
  15. They are mean – say things to hurt you

If you label someone as a ‘Drama Queen’ you’re dealing with a toxic personality.  They don the victim role to manipulate you into doing things for them. You dread being with them as they drain you of your energy, creating mental exhaustion. These encounters make you feel bad or disappointed by your inability to cope.   Toxic people are like vampires sucking the life out of you.  The best advice I’ve heard is to be empathetic but don’t necessarily hang with them. Set boundaries.  Don’t feed the beast by becoming engaged in their drama.

I find it difficult to understand why anyone would let toxic people into their life. I must be blessed as I cannot think of any truly toxic people that are part of my business or social circle. Sure, there are people I know who may exhibit one or more of these traits from time to time, but I cannot say that I have any toxic entanglements. It may be due to my experience, or maybe it’s my filters. However, there are people close to me who frequently deal with these personalities.  Fortunately, I can help friends, family members, and associates work through and detach from these people.

Faith, for example, has no choice but to work with ‘Hair-on-fire,’ as they are members of the same team.  Faith must adapt and cope with the situation.

Although it’s not the focus of this article, it must be very difficult if the toxic person happens to be a family member. They might not be able to change but you can do things to minimize the stress they create. Limit your time with them or end the relationship.

It is said that you become the average of the people with whom you most frequently associate. This refers to your behavior, your physical condition, professional success, etc.  If you understand that toxic people are made, not born, you know their behavior may be contagious.   I am fortunate that I attract people like me. I am generally a positive, and optimistic person by nature.  Although I don’t have toxic people in my circle, I do interact with them from time to time.  My experience is my shield, my intuition is my internal warning device. Toxic behavior is a big red flag. I find that life is too short to become entangled in their pathology.  If you recognize any of these attributes in your behavior it might be wise to seek help to nullify them.

For Further Information:

Dr. Karl Albrecht.  He has a short diagnostic you can access online which will help you determine if you were in a toxic relationship.

“Nine things toxic people always do and what to do about it” Coert Engles – IDEAPOD

“Six traits of highly toxic people“ Dr. Samantha Rodman, Talkspace, April 19, 2018

 

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

Don’t Become Entangled in Their Pathology!

One of the benefits of a healthy economy is that people seem more optimistic and happier. Clearly, this has been the case for the past few years, especially 2019. By and large, the people I met and interacted with last year were much more positive about the future for their businesses. They were busy landing new gigs and completing work for their clients. They were pleasant and easy to be around.

 

That’s not to say that I didn’t interact with people or learned of situations that were most disagreeable.  My friend Faith often speaks of a coworker she calls “hair on fire.”   This person has a special knack for surfacing a crisis near the close of business on Friday afternoons.  Faith finds this irritating, a waste of her time.  In this respect, “hair on fire” is toxic.

 

One of my clients wasted a significant amount of time working with a potential strategic partner who promised her the moon.  This person talked about entering a joint venture partnership whereby they would split the profits from their projects.  My client began working with him in good faith but continued to ask for a document to define their relationship. The more my client asked for an agreement, the more belligerent he became. That document was never delivered and my client realized that her counterpart was insincere.  In the end, he exploited her expertise without compensation.  Fortunately, her investment wasn’t exorbitant.

 

A vendor for another client put his business in turmoil by failing to show proper accountability to his minority partners.  He didn’t include them in important decisions and was not forthcoming.  Not surprisingly, his partners resigned, taking funds owed them out of the company’s bank accounts.  This resulted in additional problems for the vendor as those funds were designated for merchandise already purchased. The list goes on.

 

As my business is about helping my clients become more effective, it’s important to help them understand the warning signs of a toxic relationship.  There is great value in avoiding the cost of a pathological relationship, so understanding the warning signs is useful.  Toward this end, I invested time in reviewing articles that discussed the personal attributes shared by successful entrepreneurs.  A summary of the attributes promoted is listed below.

 

Attributes of a successful entrepreneur:  Passion, strong work ethic, strong people skills, determination, creativity, competitiveness, self-starter, open-minded, confidence, disciplined, salesmanship, communication skills, peacefulness, poised, intuition, adaptability, opportunistic, resilient, bold, management skills, focused, accountable, skeptical, and a listener.

 

I find it interesting that these attributes not only apply to success as an entrepreneur, but they are also relevant to an employee, a senior executive, or for one’s private life.  The best summary I found was from Brian Tracy who identified five qualities:  Self-discipline, integrity, persistence, clear sense of direction, and decisive and action-oriented.  Of the articles I surveyed, Mr. Tracy was the only author who identified integrity as a key attribute for success. I find that surprising, however, I agree completely.  From my perspective, poor temperament and a lack of integrity are the primary indicators of a toxic relationship.  If that’s the case, how can one minimize their exposure to toxic people?  How can one resolve that question before entering into a business relationship?

 

When coaching Independent Consultants, I advise them to create an entry-level vehicle as a lead marketing strategy. This is a small project with a short time frame, reasonably priced to present a low-risk profile to the prospective client.   This project will validate your capabilities as you work to establish a relationship with the new client. These entry-level projects are opportunities to build trust, the foundation for a longer-term relationship.  If a relationship cannot be established, neither party has lost much in the process.

 

I believe this is good advice for entering into any relationship. Begin with a small commitment to validate the benefits of a relationship.  It’s the best way to manage risk.  Of course, there is a lot of work you can do to ensure a viable working relationship even before landing that initial contract.  As your prospective clients are interviewing you, you should be interviewing them.  It is advisable to talk with the client’s vendors and or customers to gain further insight.

 

Many people have great ideas and want to be in business for themselves. If they lack a few key attributes those dreams will never materialize.  Be on guard so you aren’t caught in their pathology.

 

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

Ethical Issues of the Market for Organ Transplants

Contributed by Faith Johnson

There are approximately 114,000 people wait-listed for an organ transplant in the United States.  Another person is added to the list every 10 minutes.  When one considers an aging population in a co-morbid state, it’s understandable that 20 people die waiting for a suitable organ transplant every day (American Transplant Foundation, 2019).  Is everyone in need of an organ transplant treated fairly?  Can money or social position move one up the list?  There are ethical ways to get closer to the top of the list.  In the United States, medical necessity, location, and compatibility can improve one’s position. If a potential recipient feels they aren’t moving up fast enough there are options, some more legal than others.

The World Health Organization (WHO) has identified 91 countries where kidney transplants are performed.  In 2005, 66,000 were performed globally (The State of the International Organ Trade, 2019).  The selection of who received these organs varies based on their national situation, availability of organs, health care cost, and technical capacity.  While most think of organ donation as coming from a deceased (brain dead) person, many come from live donors facilitated by a medical doctor.  Some of these live donors sold their organs.  Web sites offer transplant packages ranging in price from $70,000 to $160,000 (The State of the International Organ Trade, 2019).

Twenty-five percent of live donors are not biologically related.  About 6,000 of these donations occur every year (American Transplant Foundation, 2019).  Buying and selling human organs for transplant, known as Transplant Tourism, is illegal in the United and most other countries.  However, due to growing demand, an international black market is thriving to provide organs from both live and deceased donors.  Up to eight lives can be saved through a deceased donor, and more than 100 lives enhanced through tissue donation (American Transplant Foundation, 2019).  So, it is easy to see how profitable it can be for those who work as brokers in a somewhat subversive industry.

The American legal and health care structure is designed to protect donors through articles such as informed consent or a Living Will, where a person can put their final wishes in writing to be carried out by family members or an Executor   Outside the protection of the United States, the situation is questionable.  Many of these donor transactions are carried out by medical doctors who supposedly have the best interest of the patient in mind.  At times, they work with facilitators in the recipient’s country of origin.  As cited in The State of the International Organ Trade, the Taiwanese Department of Health revealed that 58% of 118 patients interviewed said their transplant surgery was facilitated by their doctor.  There are other notations of donors and recipients from different countries going to a third or neutral country to have the procedure performed.  In 2005, approximately 12,000 kidney and liver transplant procedures were performed in China with organs harvested from executed prisoners.  There wasn’t any notation of consent being part of the process (The State of the International Organ Trade, 2019).

Transplant tourism is a global issue that will require a global solution.  Collaboration and legislation among the participating countries to identify and monitor transplants are needed.  Seven countries including the United States have been identified in a report by Organs Watch as organ-importing countries.  The other countries identified are Australia, Canada, Israel, Japan, Oman, and Saudi Arabia (The State of the International Organ Trade, 2019).  The Human Organ Transplantation Act of 1994 was put in place to ban organ trade.  We need international human rights Legislation including monitoring by governments of any country that allows organ importing to be part of the legal defense.   Amendments should be made to the Affordable Care Act to allow employers to exempt coverage to employees who have been organ recipients, domestically or internationally, that were non-compliant with benefit plan requirements.  Also, Medicare and Medicaid would not provide coverage for these organ recipients so they would not qualify for disability benefits.  International deceased or incarcerated donors should have legal protection to ensure that they or their families are aware of their organ contribution.  Tighter controls are needed to reign in private transplants of questionable origin.

The world is filled with health dilemmas, including transplants.  A shortage of compatible organs has added another layer of complexity to the equation.  As the co-morbid state of an aging population continues to grow, so will the deficit of organs needed to bring better health to those in need.  A communication campaign to raise awareness of the benefit of organ donorship is long overdue.   If more people allowed their organs to be harvested at the time of death, a shift in the supply of viable organs may occur.  One might see it as the recently deceased living on for years to come through the gift of their organs.  A larger supply of organs available legally, coupled with tighter controls and Legislative compliance, could bring about a positive shift in organ transplantation.

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber, Managing Partner

ITB PARTNERS

Jim.Weber@itbpartners.com

Author of: Fighting Alligators, Job Search Strategy For The New Normal