Identify Toxic Entanglements: Adapt or Disengage

‘Show me a good crisis manager, and I will show you someone who creates a crisis to manage.’

Warning – Toxic Person

It’s Saturday morning. I just received a text message from my friend Faith. She forwarded a message from a colleague she calls ‘Hair-on-fire.’  The text she received was sent at 4:45 PM yesterday, Friday, surfacing another crisis.  ‘Hair-on-fire’ strikes again! Fortunately, Faith was engaged in another activity, so she didn’t see the text and wasn’t drawn into a last-minute waste of time.  As I mentioned in my post last week, this colleague has a habit of creating a commotion late on a Friday afternoon.  Just imagine, it‘s the end of the workweek and you’re ready to ease into the weekend.  You may have plans for the evening, anticipating some well-deserved fun and relaxation.  As you’re making the transition to ‘personal time,’ you’re assaulted with an urgent issue that requires you to revert to ‘working mode.’  Instant psychological whiplash.  I call foul!  This behavior strikes me as manipulative and narcissistic.  It appears that “Hair-on-fire” uses this tactic as a control mechanism to manage her matrix team.  From my experience, she probably believes that being a good crisis manager will result in recognition by senior management.  Early in my career, I learned something about crisis management. My most important takeaway was: ‘Show me a good crisis manager, and I will show you someone who creates a crisis to manage.’  This topic is of great interest to me.

A thesaurus search of “toxic” reveals synonyms related to poison, something to be avoided.  As with any poison, exposure to toxic people should be minimized whenever possible. How do you know you are dealing with a toxic person and how does one cope? Exploring this matter further will help us become more productive and effective. It will help you create a healthy workplace.  The starting point is to identify toxic people by their behavior.

ATTRIBUTES OF A TOXIC PERSONALITY

  1. Takes no responsibility for their actions – puts the blame on others
  2. Manipulative
  3. Never apologize
  4. Judgmental – highly critical, will negate your self-esteem
  5. Make you defensive
  6. Will not support you
  7. Inconsistent
  8. Narcissistic – Must be the center of attention
  9. Do not listen
  10. Negative outlook – never a positive word, project their emotions on you
  11. Never admit defeat – never wrong
  12. Will not go out of their way for you
  13. Present a victim’s mentality – emotional blackmail
  14. Always have ulterior motives
  15. They are mean – say things to hurt you

If you label someone as a ‘Drama Queen’ you’re dealing with a toxic personality.  They don the victim role to manipulate you into doing things for them. You dread being with them as they drain you of your energy, creating mental exhaustion. These encounters make you feel bad or disappointed by your inability to cope.   Toxic people are like vampires sucking the life out of you.  The best advice I’ve heard is to be empathetic but don’t necessarily hang with them. Set boundaries.  Don’t feed the beast by becoming engaged in their drama.

I find it difficult to understand why anyone would let toxic people into their life. I must be blessed as I cannot think of any truly toxic people that are part of my business or social circle. Sure, there are people I know who may exhibit one or more of these traits from time to time, but I cannot say that I have any toxic entanglements. It may be due to my experience, or maybe it’s my filters. However, there are people close to me who frequently deal with these personalities.  Fortunately, I can help friends, family members, and associates work through and detach from these people.

Faith, for example, has no choice but to work with ‘Hair-on-fire,’ as they are members of the same team.  Faith must adapt and cope with the situation.

Although it’s not the focus of this article, it must be very difficult if the toxic person happens to be a family member. They might not be able to change but you can do things to minimize the stress they create. Limit your time with them or end the relationship.

It is said that you become the average of the people with whom you most frequently associate. This refers to your behavior, your physical condition, professional success, etc.  If you understand that toxic people are made, not born, you know their behavior may be contagious.   I am fortunate that I attract people like me. I am generally a positive, and optimistic person by nature.  Although I don’t have toxic people in my circle, I do interact with them from time to time.  My experience is my shield, my intuition is my internal warning device. Toxic behavior is a big red flag. I find that life is too short to become entangled in their pathology.  If you recognize any of these attributes in your behavior it might be wise to seek help to nullify them.

For Further Information:

Dr. Karl Albrecht.  He has a short diagnostic you can access online which will help you determine if you were in a toxic relationship.

“Nine things toxic people always do and what to do about it” Coert Engles – IDEAPOD

“Six traits of highly toxic people“ Dr. Samantha Rodman, Talkspace, April 19, 2018

 

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

Don’t Become Entangled in Their Pathology!

One of the benefits of a healthy economy is that people seem more optimistic and happier. Clearly, this has been the case for the past few years, especially 2019. By and large, the people I met and interacted with last year were much more positive about the future for their businesses. They were busy landing new gigs and completing work for their clients. They were pleasant and easy to be around.

 

That’s not to say that I didn’t interact with people or learned of situations that were most disagreeable.  My friend Faith often speaks of a coworker she calls “hair on fire.”   This person has a special knack for surfacing a crisis near the close of business on Friday afternoons.  Faith finds this irritating, a waste of her time.  In this respect, “hair on fire” is toxic.

 

One of my clients wasted a significant amount of time working with a potential strategic partner who promised her the moon.  This person talked about entering a joint venture partnership whereby they would split the profits from their projects.  My client began working with him in good faith but continued to ask for a document to define their relationship. The more my client asked for an agreement, the more belligerent he became. That document was never delivered and my client realized that her counterpart was insincere.  In the end, he exploited her expertise without compensation.  Fortunately, her investment wasn’t exorbitant.

 

A vendor for another client put his business in turmoil by failing to show proper accountability to his minority partners.  He didn’t include them in important decisions and was not forthcoming.  Not surprisingly, his partners resigned, taking funds owed them out of the company’s bank accounts.  This resulted in additional problems for the vendor as those funds were designated for merchandise already purchased. The list goes on.

 

As my business is about helping my clients become more effective, it’s important to help them understand the warning signs of a toxic relationship.  There is great value in avoiding the cost of a pathological relationship, so understanding the warning signs is useful.  Toward this end, I invested time in reviewing articles that discussed the personal attributes shared by successful entrepreneurs.  A summary of the attributes promoted is listed below.

 

Attributes of a successful entrepreneur:  Passion, strong work ethic, strong people skills, determination, creativity, competitiveness, self-starter, open-minded, confidence, disciplined, salesmanship, communication skills, peacefulness, poised, intuition, adaptability, opportunistic, resilient, bold, management skills, focused, accountable, skeptical, and a listener.

 

I find it interesting that these attributes not only apply to success as an entrepreneur, but they are also relevant to an employee, a senior executive, or for one’s private life.  The best summary I found was from Brian Tracy who identified five qualities:  Self-discipline, integrity, persistence, clear sense of direction, and decisive and action-oriented.  Of the articles I surveyed, Mr. Tracy was the only author who identified integrity as a key attribute for success. I find that surprising, however, I agree completely.  From my perspective, poor temperament and a lack of integrity are the primary indicators of a toxic relationship.  If that’s the case, how can one minimize their exposure to toxic people?  How can one resolve that question before entering into a business relationship?

 

When coaching Independent Consultants, I advise them to create an entry-level vehicle as a lead marketing strategy. This is a small project with a short time frame, reasonably priced to present a low-risk profile to the prospective client.   This project will validate your capabilities as you work to establish a relationship with the new client. These entry-level projects are opportunities to build trust, the foundation for a longer-term relationship.  If a relationship cannot be established, neither party has lost much in the process.

 

I believe this is good advice for entering into any relationship. Begin with a small commitment to validate the benefits of a relationship.  It’s the best way to manage risk.  Of course, there is a lot of work you can do to ensure a viable working relationship even before landing that initial contract.  As your prospective clients are interviewing you, you should be interviewing them.  It is advisable to talk with the client’s vendors and or customers to gain further insight.

 

Many people have great ideas and want to be in business for themselves. If they lack a few key attributes those dreams will never materialize.  Be on guard so you aren’t caught in their pathology.

 

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

Do You Plan to Achieve Your New Year’s Resolutions?

Goal Setting

It’s that time again! Time to make New Year’s resolutions.  I suppose I’m like most people who revel in the excitement of starting a new year. In many respects, the new year offers the promise of a new beginning or an opportunity for change. It’s fun to share New Year’s resolutions and I’m sure that we’re all serious about achieving our goals.  Regrettably, within a few months, most people have given up on their New Year’s resolutions. Business, on the other hand, is a different story. Companies don’t have New Year’s Resolutions.  They have a vision and objectives.  My experience is that a business is more likely to achieve its goals.  Why is that?

I talked with many people over the past few weeks and have learned much about their plans for 2020.  My friend Faith plans to start a supper club to explore new food dishes and to get back to the art of dining at home.  One of my Associates at ITB Partners has created a strategy to develop multiple blogs, monetized through advertising and affiliate programs. He realizes that becoming profitable may take as much as two years, but he is excited about his prospects.

I am working with clients who want to change careers in 2020. Some are between situations and have the flexibility to explore new options while others are gainfully employed but desire a better situation.

These conversations were most interesting. Of course, the most typical resolutions are about personal development; simplifying lives, losing weight, improving diets, and to follow a healthier lifestyle. Continuing education and developing new skills are also popular.  I also enjoyed hearing from those who didn’t have plans to change anything other than to do better executing their current strategies.

My favorite morning talk show host is changing his strategy to include more knowledgeable pundits who can talk from a strategic perspective. I have a few initiatives that I want to pursue, including a seminar program to attract more clients.

While preparing my thoughts for this post, I found an article that listed 20 goals for entrepreneurs in 2020.  Whereas the goals proposed are relevant for most, the focus of the article was on goal setting.  The article even recapped the SMART formula.  It didn’t devote any ink on how to achieve those goals.  Maybe that is part of the problem.

Exploring this issue over the Holidays, I reviewed my favorite YouTube and podcast channels. One point that resonated profoundly was made by James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits. He talks about making small, manageable changes that generate other changes, which cumulatively make a big impact. I like that idea. I like the thought of finding a linchpin to provide leverage for other goals.

Another point Clear makes is that one needs a system to achieve their goals. This opinion is shared by Scott Adams, the creator of the Dilbert cartoon.  Adams is much more direct as he says “goals are useless, without a system.”  I concur with this point; a system is required to achieve a goal. Another word for a system is routine.

I find this to be a valid perspective! It reminds me of my early career in strategic planning and analysis. The planning process we followed included strategies and tactics (a system) to ensure the desired result. We also established timetables and mechanisms to track our progress. It was a useful process that required serious thought about how to realize our goals. We had a system. Our focus was on executing the strategy.

This year, my primary resolution is to lose the ten pounds I gained between Halloween and New Year’s Day.  I am confident I will be successful, as I have a plan and a system to achieve that goal.  I have several important business goals for 2020 as well. I haven’t completed the plan to achieve those goals yet. However, as I consider planning one of my greatest strengths, I am confident that I will achieve those goals as well.

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Subtext Secrets To Winning New Business For Consultants

 

Joel Alpert

Breakfast meetings can be a wake-up call when the attendees are experienced and masterful at their crafts. And when Jim Weber of ITB Partners presented his perspective on selling consulting services last week, even the most experienced among us sat up and took notice. (This post combines Jim Weber’s presentation, and with his approval, some framing with my own perspective.)

Anyone who is a good consultant wants to do a good job, and differentiate their services for their prospects and clients… that’s natural. Sometimes, however, we can miss the point — which is making the connection to our client, and understanding their world fully, through their eyes.

We sometimes miss the subtext of the conversation, which may be about the client’s unstated needs. So good consultants must be connected to their clients. They must value the client’s interests. And the context of selling consulting services must be reframed to focus on the client’s interests.

There’s also a bit of healthy schizophrenia involved — while you must understand the client’s need, you must also ensure that your own consultant’s assessment adds up.

Here are some takeaways:

Inside Your Prospects Head

At just about any company, the person hiring you will want to know two essential questions — “Do You Understand My Problem?” and “Will You Make Me Look Good?” If you can’t get past these questions, all the great work you might do… might not happen. Other key questions will likely include “Can You Work Within Our Culture?” While the culture may be cool, calm, and collected…or mad as a March hare, most clients expect No Drama.

You Are In Front of Viable Prospect

A key step in developing the plan is making sure there can be a plan. Is the prospect qualified? Are they just fishing around, or do they have a defined need? Are they looking to you to define this need?  Do they have a budget available to pay for the project?

To understand and frame your client’s expectations you can  ask: “What’s important around here?” This will help you determine if they are looking for a certain type of program response, or profitability, other KPIs or “soft” goals.

 

Sizing Up The Project And Expectations

Asking the right questions here may make the difference. You may ask “What have you done” in regard to the project, and this will offer insights into the client’s approach, plus success or failure at that endeavor.

And you will want to know “how” they executed the project — “How did you execute that?” will also tell a lot. The consultant can check out expectations by asking a question such as “If we found new ways of thinking through this issue, would you be open to that?”

Your Goal – Close The Deal!

When discerning the client’s needs, and their framing of it, you’ll want to  Validate The Client’s Diagnosis. This step is key for producing later success.

You’ll also want to understand the company culture, and how your work and style fits into it. Then, essentially, you will be validating your fit for the work.

 

The Presumptive Close

I presume there are all kinds of “presumptive close” styles, but part of the subtext of the selling conversation will be to continue building the relationship. You’ll want to demonstrate what it’s like to work with you, and your Closing Strategy conversations are the beginning of your work.

 

How To Scare Off Your Prospect

Sometimes we can scare off the prospect by identifying all their landmines. And we suggest solutions. I take this one personally, I do it often — my rationale, likely yours, too — is to help the client, direct the conversation, and to provide value even in that initial selling process.

While those insights might be correct, the client just wanted to solve a particular problem. Other times, in the spirit of being a hero and showing how much we know, we can come up with a premature diagnosis – which is not fully informed, and off-target. We can also be too surgical in our technical techniques and conversation — even if it’s right, it just doesn’t build rapport.

 

A Successful Sales Close

While a consultant needs to map the terrain and understand where the client is at if all the questions asked to serve the consultant… then you might as well hire yourself. Jim reports that some consultants were “dying” when they focused on the mechanics of their job. But-but-but when they switched to issues that were important to the prospect… they arose like Pegasus. That’s a way better end result!

Another interesting bit of perspective from the meeting and discussion, regarding agenda and expectations, was the insight to “assume the worst going in” to a meeting. That doesn’t mean being a pessimist, it means that we live in a fast-paced world, and everyone may not be prepared for the meeting, or you might not expect the unexpected — you may need to guide the agenda and set expectations.

Jim’s presentation had us focus on being connected. Valuing the prospect’s interests. Playing their role. Not just understanding what they say they want, and selling the value of your services… but absolutely ensuring we meet their interests. Sounds good to me!

– – – – – – – – – – –

Would you like to see the narrated .ppt presentation? Here’s the link, as Jim Weber presents Selling Consulting Services: https://lnkd.in/eXPbePR

Joel Alpert of MarketPower is a branding and marketing consultant who has developed branding, strategic thinking,  direct marketing and more, for Fortune 500… SMB… and one person consultancies, in just about every conceivable category of business.

Connect with Joel: www.LinkedIn.com/in/JoelAlpert123

Find what you need…take a quick tour: www.MarketPowerOnline.com

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber, Managing Partner

ITB PARTNERS

Jim.Weber@itbpartners.com

North Fulton Business RadioX Interview, September  26, 2019

Author of: Fighting Alligators, Job Search Strategy For The New Normal

Writing Is Important: Get Started!

Writing is a process

It was a very good week.  In addition to several client meetings and great interviews with candidates for my COO search; I talked with a few of our consultants and a prospective new member. One of those meetings included a fine cigar and a Guinness.  My favorite way to work!  I ended the week sharing a bottle of Cabernet with my friend and muse, Faith.  More on that later.

 

My meeting with the prospective new consultant was most instructive.  She has an interesting background that includes Fortune 500 experience and tenure as the CEO of her family’s business.  Her experience and insight into a family-owned, small-business are valuable to clients operating in a similar environment.   I enjoy these meetings as they are fun and enlightening.  I enjoy hearing about one’s career and challenges in building a new business. I find it interesting learning how they market their services. Each has a story worth sharing, which could enhance their personal brands.  I believe that business development requires a combination of strategic networking, public speaking, and writing articles or blog posts. The point is, we must find ways to leverage our time and resources by talking to a broader audience. By reaching a broader audience, I mean mass communication.

 

Most people I know are competent at networking and public speaking.  A few are even positive toward writing articles. They understand the value of a program that helps promote their written work over an array of platforms. Even so, I’ve been surprised to find that most are reticent about writing articles for publication. Their reluctance is of interest to me as these are solid professionals who know how to write for business. They know how to draft a proposal. They know how to structure a cover letter to support their job search.  Their writing skills are not an issue.  So, why are so many people reluctant to publish their thoughts?

 

Back to Faith and that bottle of Cabernet.  We get together every few weeks at a favorite watering hole to catch up and decompress.  Talking with Faith is always interesting and stimulating.  Our conversations are wide-ranging but always begin with a recap of the current week. Often, she helps me determine the theme for my weekly blog post.  This week, Faith shared a few interesting stories I thought a broader audience would appreciate.  I am convinced her stories will resonate with many as they’re about working for an NFL legend. I told her she should write a book. She demurred.  I said she should do it for her family.  If for no other reason, it would help her daughter and grandchildren appreciate her life. Faith agreed to think about it.  After sleeping on our conversation, I woke up with the topic for this week’s post.  Thank you, Faith!

 

We are busy people.  I get it!  Writing an article, even seven hundred and fifty words can be daunting.  Some cannot justify the effort. However, I know that writing an interesting article in a reasonable amount of time is a process.  Experience with this process generates confidence which changes one’s perspective, creating a new habit.

 

For Members who are reticent about contributing to our blog page, we provide alternatives like conducting an interview with the consultant or working on an article together including final edits. Most people are comfortable with these alternatives as they’re a lighter load.  This makes me think that helping people become comfortable as a writer, could be as easy as following a two or three-step process to gain confidence.  The benefits of one’s business development activities are too great to forego the power of writing.

 

After sleeping on it, I arrived at an alternative which Faith might appreciate. I could make video recordings of her telling her life stories.  Recording her while enjoying a glass of wine, or two might add an interesting touch.  I know it would be more fun for her.  We could create a digital book.  In time, I’ll wager that she will migrate toward writing that book.  Even if she didn’t publish her work, it would be a very valuable gift for her children.

 

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber, Managing Partner

ITB PARTNERS

Jim.Weber@itbpartners.com

North Fulton Business RadioX Interview, September  26, 2019

Author of: Fighting Alligators, Job Search Strategy For The New Normal

What I Learned from Landry, Reeves and Ditka by Robert H. Steele, CLU, ChFC December  2003

 

NAHU member Robert Steele played wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl XIII and also held for extra points and field goals. His accomplishments in the insurance and benefits industry and his management, sales and organizational experiences very much mirror the discipline, single-mindedness and preparation that earned him a position on America’s Team. Mr. Steele is the founder and CEO of PrimeWire, an employee benefits technology company. He is listed as an active member in the Yearbook of Experts for delivering motivational sales speeches to the insurance and financial services industries. He is also noted for his inspirational speech titled “Dream Big Dreams,” which illustrates the steps to achieving innumerous goals.

Mr. Steele produced Million-Dollar Round Table production credits every year he was in personal production, beginning in 1981. He was elected to the Georgia House of Representatives in 1988 and served in the Georgia House in 1989 and 1990. He earned his bachelor of science degree in business administration from the University of North Alabama. You can contact him at rsteele@primewire.com.

Robert H Steele

Twenty-five years ago I graduated from the University of North Alabama with a degree in marketing. I didn’t know it then, but my first job would teach me more about business than I had ever learned in college. It would also help train me for all of my other jobs as well. Everybody’s first job should be like that.

In their particular market, the number-one organization in America offered me the opportunity to try out for employment. They did not guarantee me employment. I had to compete with 15 other people for the same position and work at least 70 hours per week without overtime before I was moved off of probation. The company was the World Champion Dallas Cowboys, who had just beaten the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XII in January 1978.

I had played wide receiver in college and was All Gulf-South Conference my senior year. But I was not selected to play in any of the college all-star games. My football days were coming to a close. I was about to graduate and had no clue what I was going to do. Just six weeks from graduation one of my coaches called me into his office to tell me he had a job interview for me. A scout was in town to watch game films. He would put me through some drills and time me in the 40-yard dash. How about that for an initial job interview?

Within six weeks, 69 other free agent players and I had signed contracts to report to work. Along with 12 draft choices, we would fight for exactly five roster spots. Some odds!

Training camp lasted six long, hard weeks. It was a time of testing to determine both if your skills measured up and if you could stand up mentally to the task. Players were asked to learn their positions, all assignments, given new tasks the night before, and asked to perform them the next day without mistakes. Dreams were on the line, every day, and tensions flared.

Sixty-nine players were sent home and told to get a real job. Fortunately for me, I was the only free agent to make the team. Among the several notable players and free agents who did not make the team that year was Brian Billick, now the head coach of the Baltimore Ravens. One year later, I was sent off to the Minnesota Vikings. A year after that, I too was told to go find a real job.

But in my first job, I learned more from my manager and supervisors than can be shared in one article. The entire organization was first rate – a real blueprint for success. The people in key positions were given the responsibility to carry out their assignments. I just had to open my eyes and take it all in.

The management structure was very similar to most businesses. Mike Ditka was my manager; his manager was Dan Reeves. Dan Reeves’ boss and my ultimate boss was Tom Landry. I was able to spend time with each, in a variety of situations, and learn from the masters of the business. I did not know that what they were teaching me was about much more than football — it was about business and life in general.

Mike Ditka taught me about having passion for my job. You can only enjoy your work if you pursue it full speed with carefree abandon, and let tomorrow take care of itself. Without Ditka, I would not have learned to go full speed on every play, every day. In games and at practice, he inspired me to work harder, outperform others who were more talented, and make the most of each day. He believed in me and I worked my butt off for him. Ditka taught me about persistence and passion and being aggressive in everything I do. This made me a good football player but a better salesman.

Dan Reeves’ lessons were totally different. He taught me about the mental aspect of the game. Reeves inspired me to become a lifelong learner. His teaching skills and encouragement, combined with his lead-by-example-approach, showed me how to outwork and outsmart the competition. He taught me that talent only goes so far and that a free agent can be as good as or better than a draft choice.

Dan Reeves was a free agent, like me, who grew up near my hometown of Columbus, Georgia.  In fact, he often joked in training camp that it was his family from home, and not he, who was pulling for me to make the team. Dan Reeves taught me to be a good football player but a better manager of people.

Without even knowing he was teaching a course, Tom Landry taught me things not found in any MBA textbook. Landry’s philosophy, as head coach or CEO, was to coach the coaches (his senior staff) and let the coaches take care of coaching their direct reports – the players. This was at times misinterpreted as his being aloof from the players. As CEO, he created the vision, put together the game plan for execution, then trained the coaches on their responsibility to teach their individual players their overall assignments. It’s a winning philosophy. He proved it.

The training camp process was similar to rolling out a new product every year. First, goals had to be established. With input from his coaches and players, Coach Landry would create the team’s goals and write them on a chalkboard. All team members were also responsible for establishing personal goals, which had to be in complete accord with the overall team goals. Once the team goals were established, Landry got buy-in from each team member to be 100% responsible for helping the team accomplish our collective goals.

One of the more interesting learning experiences from my season with the Cowboys came from the motivational thoughts that were posted all over the locker room and practice fields. Landry would use motivational phrases from time to time to emphasize a particular point. At the end of one practice, he was talking about the game plan for the upcoming NFC Championship game against the Los Angeles Rams. One of the players questioned the amount of preparation for a particular play we were working on. Coach Landry paused and said, “I would rather be lucky than good. Isn’t it interesting that the better-prepared team always seems to have the ball bounce their way?”

That idea captures the heart of the Cowboys: Establish goals for every season, put the best team you can on the field, be overly prepared for every situation, know your competition, anticipate every move and take advantage of every opportunity! This is why the Cowboys became known as America’s Team. They were the first to use computers to analyze the tendencies of their opponents. They were adamant in building from within through the draft, not trading for players. And they demanded the utmost from every member of the organization.

Coach Landry taught me how to be a good football player and, more important, how to be a better CEO. He taught me how to lead by getting all levels involved. He taught me how to manage expectations of my direct reports and theirs. He also taught me that proper preparation prevents poor performance.

This on-the-job training in my first job was the best I could have ever received. My sales career, and ultimately my business career, was forever shaped by my first three supervisors.

The ability to participate in a large, dynamically successful organization taught me more about business and life in general than I ever learned in a classroom. I am a better salesman because of Mike Ditka. I am a better manager because of Dan Reeves. I am definitely a better CEO because of Tom Landry.

Earning the right to wear the silver and blue in Super Bowl XIII taught me to respect the game and seize every moment. My business career was forever shaped by Landry, Reeves and Ditka!

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber, Managing Partner

ITB PARTNERS

Jim.Weber@itbpartners.com

North Fulton Business RadioX Interview, September  26, 2019

Author of: Fighting Alligators, Job Search Strategy For The New Normal

 

You Have The Prospect’s Attention: Now Close The Deal!

A close friend and associate, John, become a successful independent consultant after leaving his corporate career.  His transition was relatively easy as his network was strong, and he was well respected.  His network was so powerful that he seldom failed to close a deal where he had a first-party referral.  Those referral-based deals launched his career, with a little help from me.  His challenge was closing deals when he had a third-party referral or if he had surfaced the prospect. That was an important learning experience for John.

 

 

John had difficulty closing a prospect unfamiliar with his reputation.  We would debrief after those situations and I would offer suggestions to improve his technique. During this time, I recognized a self-destructive pattern common to inexperienced Independent Consultants.  John had difficulty selling himself.  Inadvertently, he repelled his prospects.

 

 

As discussed in my last post, prospective clients must become comfortable with the consultant.  They want to ensure that the consultant will make them look good.  Stated more bluntly, they want to ensure that they won’t be fired for letting a contract with an incompetent consultant, someone disruptive to the culture.  These are the same concerns any manager would have when considering a potential hire.  In John’s case, he struggled to make a connection.  He would launch into problem-solution mode before he fully understood the prospect’s concerns.  He didn’t ask questions that addressed their cultural imperatives and potential minefields.  He would pontificate about concerns the client should have but may not have considered.  John wasn’t necessarily wrong, but his delivery was off-putting, insulting even.  I could see how the prospect would be concerned about him.  I am certain they wondered if he would be difficult to manage and disruptive to the company’s management style.  He did not assuage their concerns.

 

 

I had a similar experience recently.  I was talking with a prospect about helping them through Chapter 11.  This was a third-party referral, so I had to sell myself to the prospect.  On my first visit, I focused on satisfying my need to ensure a successful outcome, rather than to understand their perspective.  I was preoccupied with trying to extract information about their financial reporting capabilities.  I was concerned that I wouldn’t have the information I needed to do my work.  I wasn’t putting the prospect at ease.  Looking back on the situation, it may have seemed like an interrogation to them.  They were on guard, looking stone-faced as they provided minimal information.  Fortunately, I recognized my mistake early enough to redirect my approach. I asked them to provide background about the cause of their financial situation and what they thought needed to be done.  Their demeanor changed immediately as they went into detail about their needs.  I had cracked the code!  I stayed with that approach, drawing them out with open-ended questions.  The more they talked, the greater my empathy for their predicament.  People don’t want to be told what to do.  They want to work with someone who will help them understand their problem so they can find a solution together.  This tact was the beginning of a relationship that led to an engagement.  It’s odd that I didn’t begin with this approach as it is my preferred style.

 

 

My initial tact with this prospect was a rookie mistake, uncharacteristic for someone with more than twenty years of experience.  Landing contracts is about building relationships.  The prospect wants to know that you have empathy for their situation, you aren’t judgmental, and understand their needs.  The most effective way to accomplish this is by asking open-ended, non-threatening questions.  This will help them open up to you.  Approaching them in this manner demonstrates your professionalism.  They will come to understand that you are sincere in your interest to help and that you are a fit with their culture.  Eventually, John learned this technique and became a consulting powerhouse.

 

 

Remember, from discovery to close, your prospect is evaluating you.  They want to know that your project management style fits with theirs.  They don’t want to inject a disruptive influence into their company. The client wants to enhance their reputation and keep their job.  They probably have more work in mind and would like to find someone to help them in the long term.  So, if you want to close more deals, take time to understand the client’s situation.  Ask questions to stimulate a dialog, generating information you need to help the client.

 

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber, Managing Partner

ITB PARTNERS

Jim.Weber@itbpartners.com

North Fulton Business RadioX Interview, September  26, 2019

Author of: Fighting Alligators, Job Search Strategy For The New Normal

 

Supercharge Your Networking

Erica McCurdy for GA 95

We’re into the holiday season, which means you’ll be attending year-end parties and networking events.  Now is a good time to discuss how to make those events more productive.  As you would expect, I spend a lot of time networking, in groups and one-on-one.  Over time, I’ve become more selective about the invitations I accept.  I place a high value on my time, so I attend events offering the best outcomes.  A little research goes a long way.  I want to know who’s attending and whom to meet.  That is one way to generate a better result.  Knowing the host is an important factor in these decisions.  Some attract high-quality participants, but others don’t.  This week I attended two very successful events that were distinctively different.

Monday evening, I attended an “An Evening of Introductions” hosted by Susan Knox of Corporate Connections.  I have known Susan for many years.  Her events are excellent.  This meeting was held in Marietta, Georgia at the offices of a prominent Law firm.  This venue is well equipped with a large private meeting room that opens into a common area with a kitchenette.  “An Evening of Introductions,” began with a closed-door meeting of twenty-five, high-profile business leaders and executives for emerging brands. These are people I should know.

Susan opened the meeting with a warm welcome and an overview of the agenda.  That was followed by personal introductions from the attendees.  This is the standard way to begin most meetings, however, Susan gave each of us three minutes to pitch our businesses.  She added a bit of color as she introduced each participant, providing an interesting personal comment.  It was a nice touch.  Excellent communication skills were on display.  Note pads were provided to jot down key points from each.  I seldom recommend a three-minute elevator pitch, but it was effective for this format.  It helped me determine who to talk with and interesting ways to start each conversation.  As I was one of the last to speak, I had time to make my story most interesting.  I was pleased with my performance.

When the formal meeting ended, the networking began.  The doors were opened to the remainder of the guests, and cocktails and hors d’oeuvres were served.  I found it to be very productive.  These folks know how to network!  Whenever possible, I will attend Susan’s events.

 

Ten Keys to Better Networking

  • Be selective about the events you attend.
  • Be professional.
  • Know who’s on the guest list.
  • Ask the host in advance “who do I need to meet?”
  • Stay long enough to make connections then follow up quickly.
  • Enjoy the cocktails and snacks in moderation.
  • Dress for the occasion – You cannot be overdressed.
  • Find common ground to initiate a conversation.
  • Don’t be bashful – people want to meet you!
  • Bring Business cards, but don’t offer them until asked.

Two days later, I attended my first-ever political event.  This was for an ITB Member recruited to run for state office.  I didn’t know what to expect, but I was confident that I would be with friends, and friends of friends.  I was not disappointed.  Most of these folks are active in the political arena, including a few that are running for state and federal office.  They are networking pros!  I didn’t meet anyone who wasn’t interesting and friendly.   In many ways, it was like hanging out with neighbors. The first question was usually about our connection to the candidate.  That is a great, non-threatening way to begin a conversation!  I made several good connections; one is a direct bullseye that should lead to new business.

I was happy to have attended this event.  The venue was perfect.  The side room of a local bistro, it was cozy but large enough to accommodate the guests.  The importance of the right venue cannot be overstated. Based on my relationship with the candidate, I expect to attend more events and support her campaign. I don’t expect to jump into the political arena, but I can add value at the periphery.

If you are interested in becoming a more effective networker, use the season to practice the suggestions presented here.  I think they will be helpful.

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber, Managing Partner

ITB PARTNERS

Jim.Weber@itbpartners.com

North Fulton Business RadioX Interview, September  26, 2019

Author of: Fighting Alligators, Job Search Strategy For The New Normal

 

The Free Pocket Square

Pocket Square

I had arrived a little early for my luncheon meeting with an alumni friend. We get together about once a quarter to catch up, to discuss relevant issues about our university and the local alumni chapter.   It was a workday, so I was dressed in business casual attire; a navy-blue blazer, a white shirt, gray wool trousers, and black shoes.   My typical uniform.  As I had some time to kill, I decided to visit a nearby menswear store that I patronize from time to time.

 

I received a warm welcome from one of the staff members who gave me a general overview of the merchandise they recently stocked. He was helpful, in an unobtrusive way, giving me the opportunity to become familiar with their merchandise. As the season is changing, there are a few items I want to add to my wardrobe, so I wasn’t killing time entirely.

 

While wandering around the store another employee approached me and slipped a white pocket square into my jacket pocket. He complimented me on my appearance and said that the pocket square completed my look. I was pleasantly surprised by his action, thinking that he presented me with a gift. Well, maybe I was a bit confused as I didn’t take it as an overt attempt to make a sale.  His action created an opportunity for us to interact further as I continued to review their merchandise.

 

When it was time to go to the restaurant, I made my move toward the door, thanking the sales associates and promising to return. The associate who presented me with the pocket square, still in my pocket, asked if I would like to pay for the item. I had totally forgotten about it, especially since I had processed it as a gift. When I realized my mistake, I had to laugh.  It was a funny situation, although somewhat embarrassing. He got me! How could I refuse to pay for the pocket square?  I paid for the item, thanked them again, and went off to lunch. I’m a big fan of pocket squares so I am happy with the purchase.

 

Driving to my office after lunch, I thought back to the situation at the men’s store.  I had to laugh at myself again for missing the obvious point of his gesture. But something was nagging at me. I admit that it was a clever sales technique, however, it felt deceptive.

 

I may have been confused because no one has ever put an item in my pocket that wasn’t meant to be a gift. Typically, a sales associate will bring me an item, often a tie, to show me how it complements my jacket or suit coat. He wouldn’t tie it around my neck, but maybe drape it over my sleeve. If I showed interest, he might take me over to a mirror to see how the tie would look in relation to my shirt and jacket.  In those situations, I would hold the tie, folding it in a way that would allow me to bring it to my shirt collar to resemble my appearance if I were wearing the tie. I would manage this process, not the sales associate. During this time, he might talk about the item, speaking to the quality, the price, and how well it complements my attire.  You know, selling.

 

In my recent interaction, the sales associate didn’t tell me anything about the item or the price which failed to reinforce the act of selling the pocket square. OK, call me naïve, but I am confident that you would’ve reacted in a similar way if only for a moment.

 

I admit it was a clever technique if not a hit-and-run tactic. He made a small sale, and I do like the pocket square. However, I am not motivated to return to that location or to work with that associate. I hold no animosity toward him, but he didn’t create mutual trust and respect that would motivate me to return.

 

Often, it’s the little things that make the biggest impact. When working to build a relationship we should be mindful of our behavior.  We want to ensure that we don’t send any conflicting messages. Hit-and-run tactics will limit you to a low-level sales rut, with few return engagements. A lack of clarity or candor will inhibit the formation of relationships.  In that event, you may never have an opportunity to work with many prospects.  I may have returned to that store if the pocket square had been given as a gift, or if the sales associate had presented the item differently. I guess we will never know.

Thank you for visiting our blog.

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber, Managing Partner

ITB PARTNERS

Jim.Weber@itbpartners.com

North Fulton Business RadioX Interview, September  26, 2019

Author of: Fighting Alligators, Job Search Strategy For The New Normal

 

 

 

Go! “I will…” Experidigm

Mark Grace 7th Book Launch

Ignore Tyrants

by Mark Grace View author’s profile page

“I Will…” Experidigm
Overview
Break free by ignoring “You will…” Tyrants. Break free by pointing up and going to your NEXT experidigm. Claim ‘I will…” Experidigm! Claim the right to experidigm. Read Go: “I will…Experidigm; Ignore Tyrants.
Description
Break free by ignoring “You will…” Tyrants. Break free by pointing up and going to your NEXT experidigm. Claim ‘I will…” Experidigm! Claim the right to experidigm. Read Go: “I will…Experidigm; Ignore Tyrants. Tyrants are using an established moral infrastructure to brainwash and control people. Social, religious, business, educational, and governmental Tyrants are so common that many people are unaware that they are being programmed to follow “You will…” (subtle instructions and, sometimes, outright commanding “You will…” orders). A Tyrant is anyone who wields “You will…” orders. The author’s stance is to not tolerate the “You will…” propaganda robbing individuals of freedom and destroying experidigm ecosystems. “You will…” manipulation dominates all facets of life, especially any form of communication or connection. Social media opinions, preposterous ads, and “fake” news control the “mass” consciousness. All this communication is created and paid for to manipulate the listener to buy, to vote, or to just do what the Tyrant “You will…” wants. If people spend all their waking hours working or doing what the messages say, they are being controlled by Tyrants. “You will…” Tyrants and their administrators do not allow free will, true choice, or NEXT experidigming.  Break free by ignoring “You will…” Tyrants. Break free by pointing up and going to NEXT experidigm. Claim ‘I will…” experidigm. Go! Claim the right to experidigm. Read Go: “I will…Experidigm; Ignore Tyrants.

About the author

Mark Grace

Described as a rainmaker and innovation leader, Mark Grace lives by the adage, “Aim higher, achieve more!” For Grace, “There will be setbacks, but the good side is to just point upward to go upward to better. You might not see better right away, but better is there if you keep looking and seeking. You can avoid, deflect, and ignore the bad people who try and to stunt your growth.” As an inventor, Grace has received over 18 patents, many trademarks and has been honored with international technology awards.

He is the author of a series of personal and corporate “how to grow” opportunity books: 1) Elements of Visual Talking, 2) Soaring to Awesome-Turd Throwers Beware, 3) Choosing Up, 4) Avoid Takers, 5) NEXT: “I Am…” Experidigmer 6) MORE: “We Am…” Experidigmers, and 7) GO: “We Will…” Experidigm. Grace earned his MBA from Washington University and Chemistry degree from St. Louis University. He is the founder of the growth advisory firm, Beyondvia Technologies. Beyondvia.com offers practical ways to liberate individuals and organizations to allow these entities to grow and evolve, to realize their visions and value.
Grace regularly advises global organizations and contributes to leading journals across a myriad of industries. Grace has coined the term “experidigm” to articulate to readers and followers his philosophy of achieving personal joy. Experidigm.com is the signup gateway to participating in Applied Experidigm Zones (AEZ) and building personal experidigms.

Mark Grace

https://store.bookbaby.com/profile/markgrace

amazon.com/author/markgracepath

experidigm.com

beyondvia.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/markgracebeyondvia