I find it useful to look back on a recently completed day, week, month, or year to evaluate my activities relative to my results. It is a component of the problem-solving process which leads to adjustments ensuring that I reach my goal. Without that evaluation, I will find myself off course with diminishing opportunity to reach my goal.
After evaluating the week just passed, I found that my time was divided into two major areas. About a third was talking with folks looking for another full-time situation while the balance was helping independent consultants with their business development efforts. In each case, my time was devoted to coaching these folks about the importance of networking. Of the job seekers, one is the Millennial son of a friend. He just lost his job due to a change in strategy which caused a reduction in force. I encouraged him to focus more time on networking and to consider joining the Atlanta Chapter of The Business Executives Networking Group (BENG). The second is an older guy referred to me by a mutual friend. He is in the market after thirty years with the same company. Regrettably, his network is mostly within his past employer. I advised him to get his resume to as many Executive Recruiters as possible but don’t try to build a relationship with them. It is too late for that, however, if they have a search that matches his background, they will contact him. Instead, I told him to focus his time on networking and to be open to contract work. This will give employers more options to consider. The third is a female colleague looking for an office manager/accounting role with a small company. She is a Baby Boomer who understands the value of networking to find a job. I told her the same thing I told the second gentleman; provide the employer with additional options to consider by indicating a willingness to take contract work or a 1099 situation.
Those discussions gave me an opportunity to refer back to my last blog post where I made the point that networking is like making friends and dating. Most understood the idea of making friends, but the concept of dating generated interesting responses. The guys just grinned and nodded their heads. Obviously, they don’t understand women and didn’t want to pursue the topic further. The ladies, all single, had a lot to say usually beginning with a groan. They all agreed that there are far too many men who spend their time talking about themselves (selling) with little interest in learning about their female partner. One volunteered that her policy is “one and done” for those types. Another said that dating was a “nightmare,” as she meets far too many self-obsessed guys. I suggested to one that we should create a skit to demonstrate the wrong way to begin a date, with a follow-on showing the right way. Of course, this would be a useful opener for further discussion about networking in general.
I realize that making friends or networking doesn’t come naturally for some, especially those who may be somewhat introverted. However, if you want to find that next job or romantic interest you must make the effort to overcome your fears. Fundamentally, all these endeavors are based on interpersonal skills that are easy to understand and execute. The rule is to learn about your partner by asking questions to qualify them. It’s not about you, it’s about them. Don’t begin talking about yourself or your business until you are asked to do so. By following this advice, you accomplish two very important objectives: first, you determine if the other is a viable prospect and secondly, by showing interest in the other, you begin building a relationship. That relationship will make the difference if your questions reveal the other to be a viable prospect. I suspect that people who have difficulty making friends or networking are uncomfortable because they have the process reversed.
If you want to minimize your time in the job market or find a mate, get into the game. You must get out of your comfort zone to get experience. Experience builds confidence. Confidence leads to success. Joining a networking group like BENG would be a good place to start.
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Jim Weber, Managing Partner
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Author of: Fighting Alligators, Job Search Strategy For The New Normal
