Starbucks Meets WeWork at the Automobile Service Center

By Jim Weber and Mark Grace

i’ve learned that it is a big mistake to ignore my automobile’s  ‘check engine’ light.  I’ll admit, there was a time when I viewed the indicator light as a suggestion.  Not anymore.  I respect the ‘Check Engine’ warning light and take immediate action.  Often, a failed sensor is the problem. Sometimes, when a sensor fails it cannot provide the automobile’s onboard computer with the information required to ensure the proper functioning of the engine.  In other situations, the issue may be more serious. In any event, it means a trip to the service center.

Two weeks ago, a few indicator lights activated on the dashboard of my Nissan 350-Z, including a Check Engine light.  The Z was a little difficult to start and the engine was operating below par.  Of course, I took the car to the Nissan dealership for service.

As I was the first person in line when the service center opened, my need was processed immediately.  In addition to the ‘Check Engine’ light, I asked them to check my air conditioner, as it wasn’t cooling properly.  The service attendant was courteous and efficient.  He printed a list of items to be investigated with a cost estimate for the diagnostics.

After completing the service order, I was directed to the customer lounge to wait for their evaluation.  The owners of this Nissan Dealership had recently completed a major remodel.  I suppose, remodel is not entirely accurate as they razed the old building to be replaced with a modern facility.  I was not prepared for the utility of the waiting room.  It is easily four times larger than the original.  The adjacent restrooms are larger and more presentable.

The new lounge is more like a WeWork or Industrious office center.  There are workstations and comfortable pit groups with over-stuffed chairs.  The dealership offers free Wi-Fi and an ample number of electrical outlets for computers or to recharge smartphones.  It is comfortable and well lit. An ample assortment of free beverages and snacks are provided.  They offer single-serve coffee service, with a wide selection of flavors.  There is juice, water and soda, packaged snacks, power/breakfast bars, and fresh fruit.  At some point, a few dozen fresh donuts arrived.  I passed on the snacks but enjoyed several cups of French Roast Coffee.  There is a big-screen television tuned to HGTV and another screen for viewing the work in the garage.  I was blown away by the new lounge.  It’s like a combination of Starbucks and WeWork. If I had known about the amenities available, I would have brought my laptop and stayed in the customer lounge until my car was ready.

Almost immediately after my experience with Regal Nissan, I called my friend and colleague Mark Grace. Mark is an industry expert and guru on customer experience. He has trademarked a term for customer experience called Experidigm (see experidigm.com and his eight books).  An experidigm is not just the product or service, but all the actions and feelings the customer might have related to the experience now, later, and as the product is integrated into their lives.  It was my intention to share this experience with Mark to learn if the Nissan Dealer is providing a competitive customer experience.  Also, as I thought it make an excellent blog post, I wanted to enlist Mark’s contribution, which follows.

Mark Grace

This is a great example of the shift from selling a product or service to delivering a complete experidigm of related customer activities. Yes, customer waiting is a major activity in the car repair business. Waiting is part of the experience. We’ve all waited for hours in a cold, damp, smelly, repair place staring at an ugly, cracked linoleum floor.  Compare that to Jim’s waiting, or should I now say, productive working experience. Jim might come back for more activities. The dealer could schedule quarterly events, to showcase new cars, accessories, or services.  There is a large list of activities the dealer can consider, some of which could become profit centers.

Today, consumers can choose from over a billion products.  The opportunity is integrating products and activities into a complete experience or experidigm. Brands that create experidigms, will acquire lifelong customers. Think Airbnb for staying overnight or Uber/Lift for getting from here to there – the complete experience is covered and growing larger.  Any product can be made into an experience. Customers create eperidigms by integrating the product into their lives. Brands can take the lead, increasing their profitability by enhancing the customer experience.  Let us show you how.

Thank you for visiting our blog.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

 

Jim Weber Completes COO Search for Casual Dining Franchiser

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Prior to forming New Century Dynamics Executive Search in 1999, Jim Weber spent 22 years with Fortune 500 companies in the Food Retailing Industry where he developed a broad-based portfolio of “hands-on” line and staff experience in growth and turnaround situations. A proven executive with exceptional leadership skills, Jim has a strong financial background and heavy operations experience in specialty retail stores, quick-service restaurants, manufacturing, and distribution.

For more information about Jim Weber and New Century Dynamics Executive Search, call us at 770-649-7051 or email  JimWeber@NewCenturyDynamics.com

ITB Partners March 20 Meeting Featuring David Shavzin

REGISTER NOW

About this Event

David Shavzin

David Shavzin, CMC, is a Certified Management Consultant, and a passionate and experienced exit and succession planning expert. He created The Value Track to help business owners improve profitability, build value and maximize their business transaction. A frequent speaker on these topics, David is President and a co-founder of Exit Planning Exchange Atlanta and past president of the Institute of Management Consultants – Georgia Chapter. David has over a dozen years of experience senior corporate roles followed by nearly 20 years of consulting to privately held businesses. His industry experience includes manufacturing, distribution, healthcare, and professional services firms: law, accounting, architecture, engineering, and design.

Date And Time

Fri, March 20, 2020

7:30 AM – 9:30 PM EDT

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Location

Bella’s Gourmet Kitchen

350 Embassy Row Northeast

Sandy Springs, GA 30328

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Part IV – It’s Not Who You Know, It’s Who Knows You! An Interview with Susan Knox of Corporate Connections

Susan Knox CEO Corporate Connections

Susan Knox of Corporate Connections is a tenth generation Georgian, with an exceptional reputation and network.   I am so pleased to have her on the ITB Partners Team as her business is unique and her personal story is compelling.  In fact, I thought you would find her story so interesting, I convinced her to sit for an interview.  This is the fourth and final installment of our discussion.

Jim:  “What do you recommend keeping one’s network alive and active?”

Susan:  “I say to make a list of people in your network. People you know from the PTA, your CPA, your Lawyer, someone in the church, your neighbor, or your kid’s baseball coach/parents. Literally, anywhere you have relationships, make a list of them.  Include people that you know who are either influencers or high-profile people who are actively networking.

 “One of the biggest deals I ever got was from a dentist.  I went to a new dentist and he asked me what I did.  I told him that I connected companies with capital.  His next patient told him that he had started a new company and that he was looking for money.  The dentist made the connection and I landed a great deal.  It’s because I visited him (dentist) and told him about my business. You would be amazed where new deals and new clients, or new employees can come from.” 

 Jim:Absolutely.  As I tell folks, Executive Search is like pure marketing, as everyone I talk with is either a potential client, a potential candidate, or a referral source to a potential client or candidate.”

Susan: “That is so true! ” 

 Susan went on to say that it is important to “say yes to new networking opportunities.” She said that to build your reputation as an influencer you must be visible so people will include you in their events.  She mentioned that she attends seminars and summits, not so much for the value of the content, but to meet the people that attend those events.

Jim: “What is the next thing you see for Corporate Connections?”

Susan: “Okay!  Great Question.  

“At the moment I am overwhelmed with new clients, and I am so grateful for that.  But I think I need to start conducting professionalism workshops.  Because, as you said, people often don’t know what they don’t know.  A lot of them grew up behind a (computer) screen and they don’t know the social graces. They don’t know how to shake someone’s hand, to look them in the eye, or how to dress.  I tell people that you are the CEO of your life.  You are your brand, regardless of where you are.  So, you had better protect it (your brand).  You must know what you are doing. “  

Jim: “Yes, if you step it up, and wear a jacket you can stand out.”

Susan: “I remember a time when I represented a Wealth Management Firm.  The Managing Partner asked if I would talk to one of the younger guys, a real ‘up-and-comer.’  He was a runner and wore a sports watch.  The Managing Partner wanted him to wear a dress watch.  Another situation was with a female who wore (gaudy) colored nail polish.  I helped them learn the value of proper attire and etiquette.  I tell people, ‘when you walk into a room, you notice people who are very well-dressed and put together. They just stand out.’   People are attracted to successful-looking people.”

 “I say the more high-tech we go, the more ‘old school’ I get.  People really appreciate a handwritten note or a phone call.  I have started working very hard to have more personal connections.   But you know, Jim, I’ve always been about my clients and my members.  I have focused on helping my clients with their social media, but not for mine (social media).   I can use social media to showcase the value of my network.   Going forward I aim to be more visible on LinkedIn.” 

Jim: “Thank you so much, Susan!”

Susan: “Oh, thank you!  It was fun.”

Thank you for visiting our blog.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Wendy Ellin to Present to The BENG Atlanta Chapter March 10, 2020

“It’s one thing to love what you do, and another to LOVE THE WAY YOU DO IT!” Wendy Ellin

About this Event

Wendy Ellin

Wendy Ellin is a Workplace Productivity Consultant, International Speaker, & Author of Enough Is Enough, Get Control of Your Stuff. Her insights into living an organized life are shared in her presentations with irreverence, humor, and a level of passion that motivates her audience to TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION!

Wendy talks about real-life challenges that we all experience such as email overload, being on time (or not), reasonable expectations for getting things done, and much more. It is from Wendy’s 20 plus years in the corporate arena that she drew from her own successes by working smart, not hard—that inspired her to develop the tools and techniques for increasing workplace productivity and ultimately a renewed sense of peace of mind.

“It’s one thing to love what you do, and another to LOVE THE WAY YOU DO IT!” Wendy Ellin

Date And Time

Tue, March 10, 2020

7:30 AM – 9:30 AM EDT

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Location

Bella’s Gourmet Kitchen

350 Embassy Row Northeast

Sandy Springs, GA 30328

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Part III – It’s Not Who You Know, It’s Who Knows You! An Interview with Susan Knox of Corporate Connections

Susan Knox CEO Corporate Connections

Susan Knox of Corporate Connections is a tenth generation Georgian, with an exceptional reputation and network.   I am so pleased to have her on the ITB Partners Team as her business is unique and her personal story is compelling.  In fact, I thought you would find her story so interesting, I convinced her to sit for an interview.  This is the third installment of our discussion.

Jim: “What is your motivation?  What gets you out of bed every day?”

Susan: “Number one, I love having great people around me.  When I say great people, I mean people with integrity, who are smart, and ask ‘how can I help you first.’ They aren’t takers.  They check their egos at the door; men and women, who are genuinely good people.  I love having that as my nucleus and I thrive on meeting new people. The capital of my company is my relationships.  I think that relationship capital is under-valued currency.”

Jim: “So you wouldn’t call yourself an introvert.”

Susan: “No! I could not do what I do if I were an introvert.” 

Jim: “You said you have three brothers, older, younger?”

Susan: “All are older, I am the youngest.  I learned a lot from them. My dad treated me like a little princess. He also taught me to be fiercely competitive.  I could outrun them, swim across the lake underwater, and not come up (for air) because I was not going to disappoint them.”       

“I have a very competitive spirit.  I like to win.”

Jim: “How would you describe your clients, is there a common denominator?  Industry segments for example?”

Susan: “No, there isn’t. It’s really across the board.  I have three companies raising capital, a very big software development company, and a marketing company.  My clients also include a Law Firm, a Bank, and a CPA firm.  My Network and my clients are much the same.  I work with them on retainer until they feel they have gotten what they need and then flip them into the Network, my board.  My clients are a feeder system for my Network.   I want to make sure the members of my Network, work well together.  When I started my network membership, almost two years ago, I did not want to become industry-specific and have one member per category. It is not a leads group at all.  It’s totally about relationships and bringing people together that can be top of mind, where likes attract likes is the kind of group I wanted to build.”

Jim: “What was involved in creating Corporate Connections?”

Susan: “Well, I will never forget my first meeting. I invited people I knew well.  I called it “An evening of introductions.’ I am still using this title today. Nobody knew what to expect, because there was nothing like it at the time.  I was mixing people who should know each other.  I served wine and beer and went around introducing them.  One of my signatures is to have people introduce themselves (to the group). There is nothing better than knowing who is in the room with you so you can immediately pick out someone to meet. I learned early on to combine socializing with facilitated introductions, and then to follow up.”  

 “Through the years I’ve learned to give people the most for their time.  I learned to slow down, work the room, and let people know why they need to know each other.  I learned is to make a personal connection; mention that they both like to play golf, or they might be avid tennis players. Maybe their kids go to the same school or they are both Clemson Alumni.  I get to know my contacts so I can say something personal about them.  It takes some of the stiffness out of the room.”

 “I want to know about their passions. A lot of my contacts are willing to give back their time and their money.   Some want to be a mentor or to serve on a board.  So, for me to know your passion is important.”  

 “This morning I was with six hundred women who work with children that don’t normally have access to something like Westminster.  It is called Odyssey. These women all have a passion for giving underprivileged children a hand up.”

 Jim: “That would be an extension on what you are doing with a philanthropic angle?” 

Susan: “And, I tell everyone to figure out ‘what your passion is about and go volunteer.’  Get on a board, help with membership. Do whatever it is that you are passionate about.” 

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

Thank you for visiting our blog.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Part II – It’s Not Who You Know, It’s Who Knows You! An Interview with Susan Knox of Corporate Connections

Susan Knox CEO Corporate Connections

Susan Knox of Corporate Connections and I have known each other for at least 15 years, maybe more. She is a tenth generation Georgian, born in Atlanta, with an exceptional reputation and network.  Although I have attended a few of her events over the years, we have operated at the periphery of each other’s networks.  For the past six months, we have connected much more frequently.  We found that our business models were complimentary.  After exploring the potential synergy, I became her client, and she became a member of ITB Partners.   That’s a topic for another post.  I am so pleased to have her on the ITB Partners Team as her business is unique and her personal story is most compelling.  In fact, I thought you would find her story so interesting, I convinced her to sit for an interview.  This is the second installment of our discussion.

Jim: “You said, ‘it’s in your ‘DNA,’ and that you’ve had experience hosting events.  How did you use that experience to create Corporate Connections?”

Susan: “Well honestly, it happened by default.   It’s great that it happened.  As a matter of fact, today I ran into Marvin Cosgrove who inspired me to start my business.  He was the president of the Buckhead Business Association from 1999-2000.”  

 “I was in the wholesale jewelry business for 15 years. I owned a company called The Regency Collection. I loved it!  But I saw that things were changing, as manufacturers were closing their factories in Rhode Island.  Many people don’t know that Rhode Island was the jewelry capital of the World.  But the factories in China and Taiwan started knocking off jewelry companies in the States.  I saw the handwriting on the wall.  I had an opportunity and sold my company in 1997.  

 “In 1999 I was asked to join the Buckhead Business Association Board of Directors.   One day I suggested that we hold a Buckhead Business Expo.   Marvin said ‘Okay, I trust you implicitly.’  So, I negotiated with Phipps Plaza to hold the event.  The objective was to promote the members’ businesses and to attract new members.   In 1999, there weren’t many places to go and ‘plug-in,’ as networking wasn’t what it is today. During the event, I was introducing people to one another. The members told me that I was better at introducing them then they were able to do for themselves.  Many said, ‘here is my business card, and here are my marketing materials.  We will pay you a retainer and a percentage of the deals you help us close.’  I had eight people (at the Expo) handing me checks in April of 1999, who wanted me to represent them.”  

“It was fascinating because Business Development was not a common term back then, it was either Sales or Marketing.   Coming from the Jewelry Business prepared me to do this (Corporate Connections).  In the jewelry business, we held marketing events. I loved the events side, selling jewelry to housewives with my mother and my grandmother.  It was so much fun.  So, I thought it be wonderful to do what I love and create a high-end relationship business.”

“Over the years, people have asked me, ‘how do you monetize connecting people?’  My significant other said, ‘you picked the hardest thing ever to get paid for.’  The difference is, I am very direct and intentional, very proactive, and not casual.  It’s my business model.  It’s what I do every day.  I really feel lucky to be where I am, because I have pounded the pavement, paid my dues and sat on boards.  I have volunteered, helped fund-raise for non-profits, held events in my home, and have done many others for people who want to raise money.  I think I am in the best place I can be in my life right now.”  

Jim: “So, I am familiar with your Board, from which you receive an annual membership fee.”

Susan: “That’s called the Network. Those are people I want to be a part of my business so that I can look out for you all; knowing that you are my go-to people for new connections and to make sure that you all know each other, my inner circle. ”

Jim: “Are you still in the business of helping people who come to you looking for introductions?”

 Susan: “Yes. I work on a monthly retainer (with those people) and there are certain deliverables that go with what I do.  But the basics are the same.  I publish a new client announcement to my network showcasing their businesses.  It is something I plan to do for all my members.    It is great exposure for you all as you are hand-picked, subject matter experts at the top of your game.”

“My clients are people who say, ‘Susan I really need serious business development efforts behind my brand.   I’ve got to get plugged-in.’  They may be starting a new company and need help building their business, or they may be new to Atlanta and have been referred to me.  They hire me for a couple of months, and I will put them on the map, providing direct access to people they need to know.  As you know, they could spend two years, having coffee (meetings), meeting people one by one.  Or, they can hire me, and I will plug them directly into the people they need to know, immediately.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Thank you for visiting our blog.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

It’s Not Who You Know, It’s Who Knows You! An Interview with Susan Knox of Corporate Connections

Susan and I scheduled a meeting at a popular coffee shop in Roswell Georgia.  I like to be punctual, so I arrived five minutes early to order a cop of coffee, find a table and prepare for our visit.   As I entered the coffee shop, I immediately saw her, sitting at a table, waiting for me.  Of course.  That is Susan Knox.

Susan Knox of Corporate Connections and I have known each other for at least 15 years, maybe more. She is a tenth generation Georgian, born in Atlanta, with an exceptional reputation and network.  Although I have attended a few of her events over the years, we have operated at the periphery of each other’s networks.  For the past six months, we have connected much more frequently.  We found that our business models were complimentary.  After exploring the potential synergy, I became her client, and she became a member of ITB Partners.   That’s a topic for another post.  I am so pleased to have her on the ITB Partners Team as her business is unique and her personal story is most compelling.  In fact, I thought you would find her story so interesting, I convinced her to sit for an interview.

Jim: “Susan, thank you for making time to meet me today.  To begin our conversation, could you tell me about Corporate Connections.”

Susan: “I am a Business Accelerator I help generate revenue for companies and executives by providing high-level corporate introductions. I also connect companies with capital.  My tag line is,it’s not the people you know, it’s the people who know you.’

” I believe My Mission to connect executives and to help fill companies and individuals’ pipelines with prospects and influencers. And the reason I say prospects and influencers is because there are a lot of people out there that are doing business who need to know people, they can do business with.  They also need to know people who are very well connected. I have learned by doing this since 1999, that not only do I need to introduce my clients to people they can actually do business with but to find other Susan Knox who can help fill their Rolladex, growing their relationships exponentially.  ”

Jim:  ” So you not only help them with their business development, you help them build their overall Networks.”

Susan: “Totally.  I have had several conversations recently with people who say; ‘Susan if I had direct access to the people I am trying to sell to, I could win so many more contracts and get so much more business.  But I am going up against three or four other companies.’  So, a lot of people say, ‘if I could hire you, you could take me into the company directly at a level I need to be.’  The instances of me closing their business (contracts) are far greater.”

Jim:  “You are a 10th Generation Georgian, having lived here your whole life; is this background responsible for the creation of Corporate Connections?”

Susan: “Yes!  So, I think since I was little, I was groomed to do this.  I grew up in a family with three older brothers, very southern, hosting events, becoming a gracious host.  I always loved combining what comes naturally and what I enjoy doing, with something people want.  I mean, that is absolutely so true! I think I have been groomed to do what I am doing today pretty much since I was little.  Coming from Atlanta and having deep roots here, certainly helped.”

Jim: “Are your services appropriate to people and businesses planning to move to Atlanta?”

Susan: “It’s super valuable, but I haven’t really leveraged that.  I could certainly go to companies and say ‘if you are bringing people into Atlanta, I can help them with their transition. I could tell them about private schools, about country clubs, different areas of town, and that kind of thing.  But every day when I wake up, I think, ‘I have a network that I must be helping.’   My focus is 100% on connecting them with people they need to know”

Jim: “Corporate Connections is Atlanta-based, but I know you have clients in Dallas, Texas, and Memphis, Tennessee.  What other clients do you have outside the State of Georgia?’

Susan:  “I have clients in San Antonio, and a client out of New York, a Private Equity firm.  But you know, I have relationships all over the country.   I’ve met these people over the years, and those connections have connected me to potential clients that are trying to raise capital or that have an office in Atlanta.  What has been highly effective is a connection in Houston who has a Healthcare Think Tank.  She has sent me six clients in the past few months. It’s amazing the number of Texas Companies that want to do business in Georgia, and Georgia Companies that want to gain work in Texas.  So, we have collaborated a whole lot.”

Jim: “Do you have clients in other Georgia Cities?”

Susan: “Well, I have clients in Savannah, Macon, South Georgia, but the preponderance of my clients in Atlanta and the outlying areas.”

TO BE CONTINUED…

Thank you for visiting our blog.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

I hope you enjoyed our point of view and would like to receive regular posts directly to your email inbox.  Toward this end, put your contact information on my mailing list.

Your feedback helps me continue to publish articles that you want to read.  Your input is very important to me so; please leave a comment.

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

ITB Partners February Meeting is on the 21st!

Paula Fowler will present the Six Disciplines Strategic Planning System: A Sumptuous Breakfast Buffet is included.

REGISTER NOW

About this Event

Join Us for the February ITB Partners Meeting featuring Paula Fowler

Whether you are an Entrepreneur, an Employee or in transition, Strategic Planning is important to your success. Get ready for 2020 and learn the fundamentals from Paula Fowler, Six Disciplines Coach, and Predictive Index Certified Partner, offering small business owners tools to align people strategy with business strategy to achieve business results. Paula will present:

“It’s 2020 – What’s Your Plan?”

About Paula Fowler:

Paula Fowler

Paula is a strategic leader with a proven ability to create a company-wide vision and drive business results. Over 20 years of management and consulting experience in small to mid-sized businesses across a broad range of functional areas, including sales, marketing, finance, manufacturing, software development, operations, HR and customer support. Skilled as an internal consultant in analyzing existing operations and implementing strategies, processes, and technology to improve company profitability. Uses Predictive Index talent optimization tools to develop an organizational design, hire, inspire and drive team performance. Linkedin

REGISTER NOW

Date And Time

Fri, February 21, 2020

7:30 AM – 9:30 AM EST

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Location

Bella’s Gourmet Kitchen

350 Embassy Row Northeast

Sandy Springs, GA 30328

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Identify Toxic Entanglements: Adapt or Disengage

‘Show me a good crisis manager, and I will show you someone who creates a crisis to manage.’

Warning – Toxic Person

It’s Saturday morning. I just received a text message from my friend Faith. She forwarded a message from a colleague she calls ‘Hair-on-fire.’  The text she received was sent at 4:45 PM yesterday, Friday, surfacing another crisis.  ‘Hair-on-fire’ strikes again! Fortunately, Faith was engaged in another activity, so she didn’t see the text and wasn’t drawn into a last-minute waste of time.  As I mentioned in my post last week, this colleague has a habit of creating a commotion late on a Friday afternoon.  Just imagine, it‘s the end of the workweek and you’re ready to ease into the weekend.  You may have plans for the evening, anticipating some well-deserved fun and relaxation.  As you’re making the transition to ‘personal time,’ you’re assaulted with an urgent issue that requires you to revert to ‘working mode.’  Instant psychological whiplash.  I call foul!  This behavior strikes me as manipulative and narcissistic.  It appears that “Hair-on-fire” uses this tactic as a control mechanism to manage her matrix team.  From my experience, she probably believes that being a good crisis manager will result in recognition by senior management.  Early in my career, I learned something about crisis management. My most important takeaway was: ‘Show me a good crisis manager, and I will show you someone who creates a crisis to manage.’  This topic is of great interest to me.

A thesaurus search of “toxic” reveals synonyms related to poison, something to be avoided.  As with any poison, exposure to toxic people should be minimized whenever possible. How do you know you are dealing with a toxic person and how does one cope? Exploring this matter further will help us become more productive and effective. It will help you create a healthy workplace.  The starting point is to identify toxic people by their behavior.

ATTRIBUTES OF A TOXIC PERSONALITY

  1. Takes no responsibility for their actions – puts the blame on others
  2. Manipulative
  3. Never apologize
  4. Judgmental – highly critical, will negate your self-esteem
  5. Make you defensive
  6. Will not support you
  7. Inconsistent
  8. Narcissistic – Must be the center of attention
  9. Do not listen
  10. Negative outlook – never a positive word, project their emotions on you
  11. Never admit defeat – never wrong
  12. Will not go out of their way for you
  13. Present a victim’s mentality – emotional blackmail
  14. Always have ulterior motives
  15. They are mean – say things to hurt you

If you label someone as a ‘Drama Queen’ you’re dealing with a toxic personality.  They don the victim role to manipulate you into doing things for them. You dread being with them as they drain you of your energy, creating mental exhaustion. These encounters make you feel bad or disappointed by your inability to cope.   Toxic people are like vampires sucking the life out of you.  The best advice I’ve heard is to be empathetic but don’t necessarily hang with them. Set boundaries.  Don’t feed the beast by becoming engaged in their drama.

I find it difficult to understand why anyone would let toxic people into their life. I must be blessed as I cannot think of any truly toxic people that are part of my business or social circle. Sure, there are people I know who may exhibit one or more of these traits from time to time, but I cannot say that I have any toxic entanglements. It may be due to my experience, or maybe it’s my filters. However, there are people close to me who frequently deal with these personalities.  Fortunately, I can help friends, family members, and associates work through and detach from these people.

Faith, for example, has no choice but to work with ‘Hair-on-fire,’ as they are members of the same team.  Faith must adapt and cope with the situation.

Although it’s not the focus of this article, it must be very difficult if the toxic person happens to be a family member. They might not be able to change but you can do things to minimize the stress they create. Limit your time with them or end the relationship.

It is said that you become the average of the people with whom you most frequently associate. This refers to your behavior, your physical condition, professional success, etc.  If you understand that toxic people are made, not born, you know their behavior may be contagious.   I am fortunate that I attract people like me. I am generally a positive, and optimistic person by nature.  Although I don’t have toxic people in my circle, I do interact with them from time to time.  My experience is my shield, my intuition is my internal warning device. Toxic behavior is a big red flag. I find that life is too short to become entangled in their pathology.  If you recognize any of these attributes in your behavior it might be wise to seek help to nullify them.

For Further Information:

Dr. Karl Albrecht.  He has a short diagnostic you can access online which will help you determine if you were in a toxic relationship.

“Nine things toxic people always do and what to do about it” Coert Engles – IDEAPOD

“Six traits of highly toxic people“ Dr. Samantha Rodman, Talkspace, April 19, 2018

 

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Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

 

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners