By this time, you know that the inspiration for my posts come from my actual experiences. When I encounter three similar situations in the same week, that usually becomes the topic of the week, and so it is with this week’s post. A lot has probably been written about business lunch etiquette and the protocol of payment. It may seem like a little thing, and to some extent it is, but the ritual of paying for a business meal is important. A little faux pas in this connection can easily turn a productive meeting into a questionable situation. Furthermore, all other things being equal, fumbling this event can become the difference between closing the deal, or not. This week I experienced one of those situations and it gave me pause.
Among other events, I had three luncheon meetings scheduled this week. One I called to talk with a friend who has been helping me launch my book. The other two were with people who wanted my help. One is a good friend and networking contact, the other a referral from a friend. In the first case, actually the last meeting of the week, I needed some additional information from Brownell, an experienced e-book author who knows her way around Amazon.com. I wanted to confirm one final bit of information. She is moving away from the Atlanta area in a month, so all the more reason to treat her to a nice lunch.
The first lunch of the week was with Don, a referral from another friend. Don is in his early-fifties and having difficulty finding a new situation. As he was in town on personal business, we decided to meet for lunch and to include my business partner, Stan. Don reached out to me, looking for my help and advice. Now, I was not expecting Don to buy me lunch, but I was a bit surprised that he did not offer to cover his portion of the tab. His decision to stick me with the check was a blemish on the meeting. Granted, it was a little thing, but if our situation was reversed, as with Brownell, I would have gladly paid for lunch. Little things speak volumes.
The third meeting was a late breakfast meeting with my friend Charlie who reached out to me. I have not seen Charlie in a few years, but we are connected on LinkedIn and Facebook, so we have not lost contact completely. Charlie saw that I was near the publication date for my book and called me up to schedule a meeting. After a good breakfast and a complete debrief on the other’s activities since our last meeting, we got down to business. To make a long story short, Charlie is involved with a cloud-based training and development company which he thought would benefit me in my efforts to market my book. He was also looking for some introductions to help him with another consulting project. When we completed our discussion, Charlie grabbed the check. I asked to at least share the bill, but he would have none of that. Charlie is still the class-act I have always known him to be. Needless to say, I got right to work making the connections we discussed.
When you are working to build a business relationship remember that you are being evaluated by the other party. People want to know that you are professional, competent, and trustworthy. They want to have confidence in your integrity. They want to ensure that an association with you will not reflect poorly on them. Rest assured that little things will make a big difference. I learned this lesson the hard way, fortunately for me, while I was still a young aspiring professional.
The simple rule of thumb is “he who calls the meeting picks up the check.” If in doubt, offer to pay your share of the bill, or pick up the tab. Don’t leave your luncheon partner in an awkward position. If you do, an otherwise useful and productive meeting may become a wasted effort. Little things can make a big difference!
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Jim Weber, President
Author of: Fighting Alligators: Job Search Strategy For The New Normal
New Century Dynamics Executive Search
www.newcenturydynamics.com